Skeptic

Saturday, May 2nd, 2015
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
Since you are The Father, I presume. But, I don't
know what to believe seeing as
I've gone to a catholic school since
the age of three.
Before I was even born,
my choices were chosen for me.
I was always told that
"God made us all, so we are brothers and sisters!" But,
I am skeptical about what to believe because
I am an only child.
My mother had four miscarriages before I was born,
and is still broken over them.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I'm going to tell You the truth.
I am not a holy person.
And as I try to pray to you,
I am sitting here wondering
does this conversation even make a difference?
You seem to be a metaphysical figment in my mind since
God the Father is the idea of being, but not a specific being,
but his son was once a human being so,
am I being at all? Or am I robotically working each day
under the direction of some higher person up there?
And forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I cheated on a boy freshman year and
I continue not to regret it, because
as much as it did hurt at first, it
has made me the person that I am, and
Please forgive me Father but,
Luke 10:27 says to
"Love The Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul" but
I do not love God even though I say I do, and
maybe that's because I do not yet even love myself,
so how do I learn to love Him?
Forgive me Father, but
I am confessing to you that
I don't know what to do.
Amen.